No Sweet Tooth Here!

The tooth fairy is a beautiful and long held tradition in our country.  Frankly, it’s a fun way to gloss over the rather disgusting biological need to shed teeth.  It’s comforting to know that after that nasty experience, someone has your back.  Hurrah for the tooth fairy!  Another easy lie, courtesy of our Nordic friends!

But a caveat on the subject.  When comparing notes with other children, the tooth fairy appears somewhat unreliable.  I mean, what sort of inequitable system allows one kid to get ten smackers for a meaningless canine when your kid gets a measly fifty cents for a precious front tooth?!?! Tooth fairy

What is the elephant in the room?  Yes, the over-eager parent: a vile beastie at best!  It is precisely this brand of creature that has escalated the tooth fairy from a fun way to get your kids to finally rip out that tooth, to some sort of James Bond black jack game.  And trust me, the House always wins on this one- and you are never, ever the House.   So, now we all have to start forking out more dough or there is hell to pay.  Before you know it, the children’s under-pillows will have their own link to a Swiss bank account and they’ll all be trading Adderral for black market teeth at the school urinals.  It’s obscene!

Mercifully, if you never bring up money around your kids, they may not even notice the monumental injustice of the whole thing.  This has worked for me for a long time but oh, they are starting to catch on, the greedy little delinquents.  Clearly, fifty cents is not going to buy you much in this day and age, but after a couple of those, boy, does the dollar store look like a wonderland!  The more you give them the more they are going to spend, so keep it simple, people!  A $20 trip to the toy store today translates into a $100 Armani t-shirt in five to ten years.  Ouch!

Let them collect their money slowly in their piggy banks, like the rest of humanity does, and do not give in to their demands!  Stay strong, people, and do not join the tooth fairy junta!

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2 thoughts on “No Sweet Tooth Here!

  1. Try a half dollar or dollar coin – something special and different… if it’s a tooth that had to be removed by the dentist, throw in a $2 bill (truly a rare find)! And then try to explain why the tooth fairy doesn’t want doggy teeth when your puppy starts to shed them! – Good luck!

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